Setting boundaries in relationships

Why Setting Boundaries in Relationships Feel So Difficult?

It’s not necessarily because you don’t know how to set them.
We’re often told, “Just set boundaries.”
But strong, healthy boundaries can feel surprisingly difficult at home, work or in our relationships.
Because sometimes, setting a boundary can feel like;
• Letting someone down
• Being selfish
• Risking rejection
• Creating conflict
• Losing connection
• Disappointing people we care about

And perhaps somewhere along the way, you learned that your needs were less important than someone else’s.
Maybe saying “no” felt like it might cost you connection.
Keeping the peace meant staying quiet.
Or being needed by others became more familiar than asking yourself what you needed.

What I have learnt in studying the human condition is our emotions are shaped by early experiences, sometimes hidden in our unconscious. The brain may repress difficult experiences but our body holds on to them. When triggered we may react to what the brain perceives as criticism, threat or danger.

Truth is our emotions and physical memories often lie in the unconscious and has more influence over our behaviour patterns than our rational and conscious mind.
I firmly believe lasting change begins in the body, through being able to feel, sense and reconnect with what lies beneath. This is why therapy work sometimes means “losing our minds and coming to our senses” (organismic wisdom or gut instincts).

If this resonates, I offer a complimentary, no-pressure, no-commitment conversation to explore how therapy can support you in reconnecting with yourself and developing healthier relationship boundaries.