How to build emotional resilience at work
In the workplace, we’re expected to be focused and decisive. But many of us silently battle with self-doubt and anxiety, all at the expense of our mental health and wellbeing. In trying to numb our distress, we may find maladaptive ways of coping through alcohol, drugs, binge eating or by indulging in sexually promiscuous behaviour.
Resilience is the ability to endure adversity and bounce back from life’s challenges. It doesn’t mean we never experience stress or hardship; rather, it means we have the capacity to work through emotional pain, stay focused and grow from it.
What is emotional resilience?
In today’s world, marked by economic, social, and political upheavals, emotional resilience has become essential. It's no longer a luxury, but an invisible human guide that helps us navigate complex personal and work-related challenges. We often find ourselves going through the motions, running on autopilot and pushing aside our worries and concerns just to “get on with it.”
Over time, this can lead to anxiety, low mood and depression, leaving us feeling hopeless and disconnected. These emotional struggles have a way of negatively impacting our work and relationships.
Qualities that support resilience
Some key human qualities that support emotional resilience include self-awareness, emotional regulation, empathy, and hope. Being self-aware involves understanding your limits. Emotional regulation allows you to stay on top of things and have clarity in difficult situations. Having empathy involves both self-compassion and kindness to others, while hope gives you the strength to persevere, learn and grow from difficult circumstances.
Signs your resilience may be low
When our resilience is weak, we may battle to stay on top of daily tasks and responsibilities. We may often feel anxious, overwhelmed and experience a sense of inadequacy or failure. At times like this, we need to check in, reconnect with our emotions and physical reactions. Our feelings act as data, signalling that we need to process and understand what's happening inside us. If we can’t make sense of our internal world, it becomes even harder to cope with our external environment.
Being able to recognise and name our emotions enables deeper insight into ourselves. There may also be moments when words fail us, and in those times, it’s important to check in with our bodies and trust our physical sensations. Another powerful source of truth is our gut instinct, and learning to trust and listen to it can be valuable in assessing situations and relating better with others.
Five strategies to strengthen resilience
Here are 5 strategies that can help strengthen your emotional resilience when dealing with stressful events and relationships at work.
Acknowledge your discomfort
Try to find out who or what’s causing your distress. Is it a colleague, your boss, a workplace incident, or perhaps a rupture at work that hasn’t been repaired?
Pause and breathe
Give yourself permission to reset by practising deep breathing; inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8. This simple strategy has scientific evidence and helps to calm your nervous system when you feel stressed or overwhelmed.
Practice self-compassion
Be gracious and give yourself the same kindness, comfort, encouragement, and affirmation you would give a close friend who’s suffering or going through a hard time.
Re-prioritise your goals
Reflect on your goals and ask yourself what’s out of alignment with your personal values, work ethics or professional aspirations. Try identifying areas where you may be overcommitting or falling short on and perhaps consider making adjustments or changes.
Set healthy relationship boundaries
Your boundaries are the line between what you are willing and not willing to accept in a relationship. Truth is, we may be willing to accept things we don’t want to. So being clear on your boundaries helps you communicate the right message. Learning to say “no” and putting aside your people-pleasing ways is a good start. This helps by learning to communicate your needs and expectations clearly to others, calmly and respectfully.
Example:
The first time your boundaries are crossed, you can give the individual the benefit of the doubt; they may not have realised what your boundaries are. So, try using this as an opportunity to be explicit about your needs and expectations going forward.
If it happens again, then perhaps this is for you to decide how important the issue is; you may then decide to offer a further reminder or move to consequences.
The third time your boundaries are crossed by the same individual, you can decide to apply a consequence appropriate to the situation.
There really shouldn't be a fourth time. This indicates that you either need a stronger consequence or you might need to rethink your boundaries.
The value of reflection
Strengthening your emotional resilience is also about having a quiet "me time" for deep introspection. Emotions need an outlet, or else they stay trapped in the body. For example, anger can mask other emotions, such as fear or sadness.
When you feel angry, ask yourself what’s truly behind the anger. Are you feeling frustrated, outraged or dissatisfied? What physical sensations accompany these emotions? Do you notice some tension in your chest or abdomen, or clenched fists?
By exploring these emotions and their connections, you can gain clarity and better understand your inner world.
To help deepen your thoughts, consider asking yourself the following questions:
What situations have been particularly challenging for me recently?
What strategies have helped me stay emotionally resilient in the past?
What is one thing I can say "No" to today to set healthier boundaries?
What is one personal or work-related stressor that’s weighing me down?
What coping mechanisms can I adopt to stay emotionally resilient going forward?
Journaling, patience, and gratitude
Be patient with yourself and celebrate the small victories and progress you make each day when you show up at work. Try moving away from perfectionist tendencies and instead practising a sense of gratitude. Acknowledge what you’ve accomplished, rather than what you haven’t.
A helpful way is through reflective journaling, where you express and explore your thoughts and feelings in a non-judgmental way. It can also be an audio or video recording if that suits your needs. Trusting this process often leads to self-acceptance, building your sense of worth and having the emotional capacity to cope with life’s challenges and growing from them.
When to seek professional support
If you’re struggling to process your emotions and find these self-help strategies insufficient, therapy can provide a safe, non-judgmental space for deeper exploration and reflection. Reach out today and begin a journey of self-discovery, healing and change.